You asked for it
by Kokiri Dragon
Summary: An unarmed Ganondorf faces difficulties with his author


_This is my response to a story challenge posted in the story challenge forum_. _It follows thus:_

_Write a story with:_

_Characters:_

_Tetra_

_An Unarmed Ganondorf_

_Setting:_

_A small accidentally locked closet_

_Objects:_

_A can of paint_

_A small hammer_

_A package of crackers_

_And thus chaos ensues..._

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

'_... And Link quickly parried Ganondorf's blow...'_

"Hold it!" The Author raised an eyebrow as a clear deep voice came from the page she was writing upon and glanced around. Beside her desk, the air fogged and soon Ganondorf stood there glaring down at her, "I refuse to be defeated in another one of your stories!"

The Author frowned and calmly laid aside her pen as she turned her chair to face the irritated looking Gerudo King, She crossed her arms and gazed up at him, "You are the villain, aren't you?"

"Of course."

"Then you will get defeated, in one way or another."

"And who made that rule?"

"It is generally what happens in a story."

His scowl deepened, "You're the author, are you not?"

"I'm the one writing it, if that's what you mean."

"Then write it so I don't get defeated!"

"And why should I? I enjoy stories where the Hero defeats the Villain."

His eyes narrowed, "Because I refuse to return to that story until you do..."

She frowned at him and her hand drifted over to the desk to begin to drum upon the desktop, "You refuse?"

"How would you like to always lose?"

"Someone has to lose in a story."

"Well it doesn't have to be me!"

The corners of her mouth pulled down lower and she gazed off into space, "How about I write you into a different kind of story?"

He raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean different?"

"A sea adventure for a change?"

He rubbed his chin and gazed at the ceiling, "I might give it a try..."

She whirled around in the chair so that she face her desk and notebook as a slow smile crept over her lips, "Very well..."

He laid a hand upon her shoulder as she reached for her pen, "I'll be watching what you write."

She just glanced back at him and shrugged as she returned her attention to her notebook. The author flipped the notebook to a clean page and her pen began to write black letters at the top of the pristine page, ' Ganondorf's story.'

She glanced back at Ganondorf with an arched eyebrow and a slight smile, "Are you sure you want a sea adventure?"

"Positive."

She turned back to her page, "You asked for it..." She had a hard time suppressing a grin as her pen flew over the page:

'_Ganondorf found himself facing the mighty pirate Queen Tetra with nothing except a small hammer in his hands. She advanced upon his with her curved scimitar raised– '_

"Wait! Wait! Wait one minute!"

The author glanced back at him, "Problem?"

"A small hammer!"

"Oh. Sorry."

Her pen hastily scratched out the words 'a small hammer and wrote, _'...Nothing except his bare hands...'_

His grip on her shoulder tightened, "NO! That's just like the other one!"

She looked back at him, "No, it's not. In that one you were fighting Link in a dungeon. In this one you fighting – "

"Tetra bare handed! It's going to turn out exactly like the other one will!"

"You could pull some fancy stunt and– "

His eyes narrowed at her, "And will I?"

She arched an eyebrow, "I like the villain to be defeated."

"Write another story. One with only me in it."

"Only you?" She tapped the end of her pen upon her notebook in a steady beat, "No one else?"

"Yes. I can't be defeated in that kind of story!"

She cast a sidelong glance in his direction, "Are you sure?"

"I would bet upon it!"

A sly grin spread over her face, "Would you go back to your story if you did?"

"You can't make me return to that piece of rubbish."

The corners of her mouth shot downward, "What did you call it?"

"Rubbish."

She turned slowly back to the notebook, "I thought you did, "then to herself in a low voice, "Watch me."

She flipped to a clean page and began to write, _' Ganondorf's story.'_

"That's the same title as the last one!"

"It'll be different."

His grip on her shoulder tightened, "Are you sure?"

She grinned, "Trust me...Just trust me and remember: You asked for it."

'_Ganondorf, the great and mighty Gerudo King– "_

His grip on her shoulder loosen and he leaned forward, "I like that!"

"I've just begun..."

'_Found himself accidentally locked in a small closet in his basement.'_

"What!"

'_He'd gone down in search of a small hammer with which he planned to hammer a nail into the wall in his living. He wanted to hang up the picture of some cute puppies he'd gotten for his birthday.'_

"Cute Puppies! What in Din's...?"

The author grin broadened and she wrote even faster,

'_As he turned around in the cramped space to see what had happened, He bumped into the support on a rickety shelf_ _attached to the wall. The support came free easily and dumped it's contents onto Ganondorf's head.'_

"I order you to stop writing that!"

She paused and raised her pen as she glanced back at him, "Had enough?"

He crossed his arms, "Had Enough? What do you mean?"

"Ready to return to your story?"

His eyes narrowed rapidly, "No!"

She returned to her writing, "You asked for it!"

'_A can of paint had been on the shelf and the lid had just been laid on top of it. It dumped the bright chartreuse contents that it held all over the Gerudo Kings's head and clothing. He gazed down in disgust at the paint that now covered his bright pink dressing gown.'_

"My what! That is just– "

"Ready to go back?"

He growled something that made the author's eyebrows shoot up and pen begin to move,

'_He felt the large curlers that were in his bright orange hair and wondered how the paint would affect his perm– '_

"STOP! I'll go back! Quit writing that!"

She glanced back as the air fogged up and Ganondorf disappeared from view. A chuckle escaped her lips as she leaned back in her chair and she reached for a box of half eaten crackers, "I guess the pen is mightier than the sword or at least a fictional character."

_...End of Chaos._

_I hope this fills the requirements and satisfies everyone's need for a little chaos._


End file.
